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EVOLUTIONIST'S CREED OF FAITH
(With doctrinal comments)


By Faith, we know that:

In the beginning . . . (A1- Although "Nothologically"(1) incorrect, because that would indicate there was a start, and if a start, then there would, of course, have to be "something" to initiate that start, we have to, nevertheless, start somewhere and the beginning is always a good place!)

There was Nothing; . . . (B1- This is a foundational, self-evident truth in Nothology.)

And Nothing became Something, by chance... (C1- We don’t know how this happened, and we don’t need to know. Please note that all the laws of physics had to come from the same "nothing" at the same time as "something" which "chanced" into existence, since, technically and Nothologically speaking, there was "Nothing" before "something" - "Nothing" means "Nothing.") ((C2- For those moderate and liberal evolutionists who’s thoughts and beliefs have also evolved from "Nothing," along with the universe, and who now believe that "something" may have "always" existed, you may adjust this "Creed of Faith" to fit this evolved "Faith" from nowhere.))

And Something became Something More, by more chance... (D1- Even though there was "Nothing" that could possibly make this happen, since "Nothing" existed prior to "Something," some radical/fringe believers wonder if it is possible that the very fact of "Nothing" actually "Existing" may give rise to higher Nothological thinking - though not too high - on exactly what "Nothing" really is, which would suggest that "Nothing" might have been "Something" from the very beginning(A) and confuse many who have this Faith in the "Nothing" we hold so dearly.)D2- (("Something" apparently had all the right influences from "Nothing" from the very beginning(A), but this is beyond even our greatest "Nothologists."))

And Something More gradually and progressively chanced into Complex Something, to include the vast universe, and biological life itself, including Humanity . . . (E1- There was nothing for "Something" and "Something More" to copy or be shaped by since "Nothing" existed before "Something," yet. . . "Something More" found itself becoming "Complex Something" despite there being "Nothing" other than the original "Something" to make it do so. All this happened by "chance," and through the original "Something" that couldn’t possibly be greater than that "Something" that existed at that time, or now.) ((E2- Since "Nothing" existed prior to "Something" existing, there was "Nothing" that could exist that would have had any impact or influence on the newly "chanced" "Something," and "Nothing" so complex and intelligent as "Complex Something" . . .that is, Humanity, existed until recently, so we therefore know that "Nothing" is even greater than we could ever imagine and worthy of our worship and praise.))

Complex Something (i.e. Humanity) finally chanced to understand the Ultimate answer - the ONLY answer possible or believable . . . That we eventually brought ourselves into existence . . . (F1- Because "Nothing" existed before "Something," and "Nothing" greater than "Complex Something," i.e. Humanity, could exist, "Complex Something," i.e. Humanity, is the ultimate "Something" that could possibly come from "Nothing" - because there WAS "Nothing" else that existed, otherwise "Nothing" couldn't BE "Nothing" from which "Something" could come.) ((F2- Since "Something" couldn't possibly know where it was going, especially since "Nothing" existed before "Something" existed, the fact that WE EVEN EXIST, despite the scientific data we see, and in the face of all logic, reason and universal entropy, requires our strongest Faith, and moves us ever onward to continue to prove the original existence of "Nothing," despite our own existence. Note: For those who's Faith supports the existence of "Something" as always existing, just replace "Nothing" with "Something" and the fullest Nothological substance and meaning is maintained.))

We drive ahead as followers of Nothing and Nothology . . . (G1- though "Nothology" is a totally irrelevant pursuit, since "Why" we exist is meaningless, we are driven by "Nothing" to pursue this and countless other lofty endeavors. Due to the "chanced," vastly complex nature of our minds and bodies, and our ability to even think and consider such issues and pursue such concepts, we are compelled by "Nothing" to take over where mere "chance" leaves us, and attempt to move, purposely, in an ever-learning & improving direction, for no ultimate reason at all.)

Nothing deserves our praise and thanks for what is, and for what must yet surely come, given Nothing’s achievements so far. Therefore, we express and proclaim this belief in Nothing. For to do otherwise would be to deny our very existence!

AMEN!

(1) "Nothology" is the study of "Nothing," and how "Complex Something" came into existence from "Nothing," for no reason or purpose!

  Jeffrey T. Maehr
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